I Wanna Be Like Me

Confidence is hard. We are all bombarded with images of perfection, men and women alike, all day which shape our views of what we should or shouldn't look like, where we should or shouldn't have curves/cleavage/tone/muscle, etc. If you don't fit the mold, you should fix it right? But what mold? Everyone has their opinion of sexy, so to whom should I appeal? What do I even find sexy? Even when you are "perfect" by one person's standards, there always seems to be someone else ready to knock you down for something else.

My own struggle with confidence lately has been a little because of what I think I should look like, but mostly it's been because I know what I can look like, based on how I've looked in the past. A little over a year ago, I felt like I had the perfect body, and I let so much of my self-worth be derived from that image that it was easy to forget all the other things that make me amazing. Suffice it to say, I lost all of my confidence as soon as I lost that "perfect" body. I am writing this today, my most personal post ever, to get off the path of negativity and onto one of affirmation and optimism that stems from more than what physique I currently possess.

When I split with my ex-husband in Oct 2013, my brain knew I was in danger, so it reacted by flooding my system with all kinds of hormones and neurotransmitters that put me in a physiologic state similar to that of someone high on cocaine. Though I have never used that drug, I know that it causes you have excess energy, require less sleep and less food, and burns a LOT of calories. I was exercising all the time, had endless energy, barely had any appetite, and lo and behold, the pounds literally melted away. I dropped 15+ pounds in a month by barely trying. My confidence was through the ROOF, and I was unstoppable! I wasn't going to suffer through this divorce, I was going to thrive!! I never felt better, and the world was my oyster!

I also fell in love with someone that could never love me in the same way. I didn't see the red flags because my brain was not effectively using areas I needed for critical thinking and decision making. I acted impulsively and a bit crazy at times, but I was so sure I was doing the right thing. When that "relationship" ended, so did the gravy train of endorphins. I crashed, and I crashed hard. I hid it well and by all appearances to those around me, I was just fine, but inside I was empty. My life got much more hectic and I had less time to work out. The pounds slowly started creeping back on, and my confidence and self-worth started to deteriorate. Since that time, I've had ups and downs, but mostly I find myself looking back on the "good ole days" when I was sleek and sexy and had everything going for me, and I've been trying to get back to that.

That way of thinking needs to stop. I need to stop doing things or eating/not eating foods to get back what I once had. Life is about evolving and moving forward, and we will always be changing. I can't stay stuck on some image from my past that I think was perfect, or I'll never move towards my future. I need to focus on my attributes other than appearance, and really find what makes me happy, and what makes life worth living!

I have a lot of interests and there are a lot of things at which I excel, so sometimes it's hard to focus. I've probably changed my mind on what career suits me best five times in the past year alone. I guess I am writing all this to publicly declare and confirm to myself that I know what I want in life. I know that I love food. And beer. And baked treats. Not just any, but high-quality, made-from-scratch, food/beer/baked treats.

I myself, am a baker. I LOVE baking, and creating things for people that they didn't know they needed until they take that first decadent bite and wonder what they've been missing in life until that moment. OK, maybe I haven't made anything THAT good yet, but I've gotten some pretty strong reactions to my treats ;). I want to do that, all the time. I want to work in a restaurant, or own my own, and give people that amazing experience they didn't know they were missing. I've imagined owning my own restaurant since I was a kid, so I don't know why it's taken me so long to figure that out.

Now, eating a lot of good food and having a slim, toned body doesn't naturally go together. However, I also happen to LOVE exercising. I've been training for my triathlon for the past few weeks, and I have loved every bit of it. I've come to realize that I don't need to compete to be the best or to win, or to sculpt that sleek athletic body. I just want to compete for myself, because I love every grueling moment of each sport.  I want to compete to prove to myself that I can complete something. I used to be a quitter when I was a kid. If I didn't feel like finishing a race, I would just fake an injury to get out of it. I know I'm not that way anymore, and I want to finish triathlons to show myself that I'm awesome and amazing and that I've evolved past that childish way of thinking.

This is convenient, because I burn a lot of calories during training. I've enjoyed being able to justify each "bad" thing I've eaten in the past month or so because I just ran/swam/biked however many miles to "earn" that treat. However, I don't want to have to feel like I need to justify everything I consume. Even when I bike 30 miles or whatever, I still chastise myself for eating a brownie, or drinking a beer, because I have this image in my brain of what my body needs to look like, and I constantly harp on myself if I stray from the path of achieving that goal. I want to be able to eat and drink what I want because I enjoy that thing, and not hate myself for that. I also want to stay healthy, so by exercising like I do I know I will build muscle and increase endurance and improve my blood pressure, and gain all those other great benefits of regular exercise.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with having a "sweet tooth" or enjoying a few great beers, even if they're calorie-dense, or just wanting something cheesy because it's fucking delicious. We are told certain foods are "good" or "bad" and we have emotional responses when consuming these foods based on what society tells us we should feel. So what if my daily activity didn't fully burn all the calories I ate, and then some? If I go to my grave tomorrow, will I value my six-pack abs, or regret that creme brulee I turned down because I didn't want to be "bad?"

For me, I would regret the food, because food is an experience, and that's what life is about. Not that all of our experiences in life need to be about food, but since food is something I enjoy so much, I get a lot out of culinary tourism. I want to travel, and eat, and exercise NOT to achieve some perfect physique I think I should have, but because I truly enjoy doing those things, and doing these things makes me a more interesting and cultured person. I simply won't be that boring person that can only talk about one thing all the time and only cares about the superficial.

I have decided to change my way of thinking. I know it won't be easy, but by making it public, maybe it will help me. I will pursue all of my interests and goals in life, and do the things that make me happy, and I'm going to do that and not worry about how my body looks. My body is amazing. It is strong, and capable, and I am able to do amazing things with it. I can run for a long time, and I can swim really well, and I can lift things and do things that a lot of people can't, and those are the things that I will value! Who cares if you can't see my six-pack? How would that help me carry heavy things on my own, or swim to save someone in the ocean, or run a mile to help someone in need? Those are all things I can do now, and have done in my past, and it didn't matter if I looked like a Victoria's Secret model when I was doing them. I don't ever want to walk down a runway, so why would I need to care if I could?

The title of this post is the title of a Sara Bareilles song that truly speaks to me. It is about not comparing yourself to anyone else, just being happy being YOU. I absolutely adore the song and have always found it inspirational, but I've still struggled with truly adopting that manner of positive-thinking and just being really happy with who I am. I am going to change that. I WILL be that being of confidence, because what is there to not be confident about? I'm fucking awesome. My particular brand of crazy may not gel with everyone's, but that doesn't mean it's not a good one. You can't please everyone, but you can definitely make yourself happy, and it needs to start by telling yourself you ARE awesome, every day.

This is my goal. Positive affirmations. No more body-shaming. No more comparing myself to Sarahs past. My focus will be on learning and growing and doing things that I enjoy, simply to enjoy doing them, not to "improve" my body.

I know that nothing I've said or written in this blog is anything new or particularly inspirational. I know that there are plenty of confident, amazing people out there that already live their life in this way, but more often than not I see the negativity and body-shaming that makes it hard to get on board. Not anymore. From now on, that message in that song won't just be wishful thinking. From now on, I really do just wanna be like me!

So Here's the Whole Story:

I know I let everyone know that I didn't actually get selected this time around for my Physiology program, but since then I've gotten the actual email traffic regarding how it all went down and new details have come to light. As you'll see below, first, I found out that they said really nice things regarding my package and basically made it seem like they were going to do everything they could to get another slot open in the fall to take me then. Read:

We have confirmed the results of the 43A Aerospace Physiology Direct
Accession Board and want to notify you that:

SrA Sarah E. Root was picked to be the 1st Alternate.

In the event the primary is unable to be accessed or additional quotas
become available, we will notify you immediately that her status has changed
to a primary for APO commissioning.

This was a difficult board with SrA Root competing extremely well despite
being so junior to the military.  Her standing is an obvious testament to
her academics, performance, commitment and maturity.

We are hopeful we can secure an additional quota to commission this
exceptional candidate to the Aerospace Physiology career field later in the
Fiscal Year. 

So as you can see, great things! Then this morning, I had a little more email traffic sent to me which contained this little gem:

FYI: The only thing that prevented SrA Root from being selected as our #1
was timing - her name didn't make the "scroll" (DoD process for vetting
commissioning candidates) in time for this selection and subsequent training
flow (i.e. COTS in March and AOP Officer Course in July).  I asked AFPC to
get her on that scroll; they estimate it will be July at the earliest.  As
Mr. Smith stated, we're hoping our career field will receive a fallout quota
later this FY.  If we do, I'll work with AFPC to bring Sarah on board in
late Fall to prepare her for our summer 2014 AOP Officer Course. 

During our interview, she definitely solidified her reputation as a "shining
star" (to use your words).  :)  Thanks for your (and her Sq/CC's) support
in letting her apply.  Here's hoping for a fallout quota!

Meaning, I WAS the #1 choice, but due to admin personnel crap with "timing," they couldn't take me at this time. As they say in the military, timing really is everything. It's unfortunate, and kind of bittersweet to hear, but at the same time I can't be unhappy at the kind things they've said about me, and the hope it gives me for this fall. Looking at the silver lining, me not leaving now gives my unit more stability at this time, and it also gives me a few more months to travel EVERYWHERE. So I'm going to hold my head high knowing I did the best I could have possibly done, and there was nothing more I could have done to be selected. It wasn't my fault. I sent a thank you email to the board members I've been interacting with to let them know I really appreciate all the info and insight in to the selection process, and I was assured that I just have to wait for my time and try again. Not too bad news after all. :)

Interview Success!!!

I had my long-awaited interview for my commissioning package today and I honestly don't think it could have gone much better! I was given good info beforehand that the individual interviewing me would be nice and easy to talk to, and he was exactly that. From the get-go I felt at-ease somewhat because he didn't make it like a grilling, but more a nice conversation. I think I was honest and candid with my responses, and I think he liked what I had to say. I even made him laugh (pretty hard actually) a few times so that's always a great sign!! I had well-thought-out questions for him at the end which I got the impression that they impressed him, and I think I closed the interview very professionally and thoughtfully. Overall, I'm super happy and excited because I know I gave this my 100% best shot. I may not have been the ideal candidate from an educational background standpoint, but I think my strong letters of recommendation and great interview will put me at the front of the pack (at least I hope they do).

I don't think there are many others that I'm up against, it seemed like only a handful, so that's always good. He also said that it will be a fast turn-around if I'm selected. I'll find out in a couple weeks, at the beginning of February (good or bad), and if it is me that's selected, it's likely that I'll be out of here in March! Depending on class availability at Commissioned Officer's Training (COT) of course. He's hoping to get the new selectee in the March COT class, then on to Wright-Patterson in OH for the actual Physiologist school by July. Then the best part, he's aiming for the new Physiologist to go to Pensacola, FL for their first assignment! What a sweet deal!! I'm just so excited and optimistic at this point, and I really hope to get good news in a couple weeks. If not, I'll just keep trying and hopefully one day that glass slipper will fit! =)

And now, we wait!!

Yesterday I submitted the most important application package of my life thus far. I just applied to become an Aerospace Physiologist, which is a commissioned position. That's right, I just might be an officer in the near future! For those of you who are not familiar with the military, the difference between enlisted and officer is astronomical. For one, the pay is way legit, and B.) even an O-1 (a 2nd lieutenant and the lowest officer rank) outranks the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force (the highest ranking enlisted member of the Air Force). He would have to salute me. That would kinda rock. The only real requirement to be an officer is that you have your Bachelor's Degree, which I have had the entire time, so I always get asked why I joined as an enlisted member. I chose to join enlisted first because I wanted to learn what it was like to even be in the military before I tried to lead people in the military, and I have gained a lot from my experience so far. I've also got a lot more to learn, but hopefully it will be as an officer now. I received some AMAZING letters of recommendation which I think will help push my package to the top of the stack for this position. I don't know how many people will be applying and there is only ONE slot open this selection cycle, but I know I will be highly competitive for the slot, and I truly believe my chances are good for being the one chosen. As a physiologist, my job would be to basically train pilots and other aircrew members how to adapt to the physiological changes of flight. I would be doing a lot of teaching and briefing, which I love, and I could also branch of into the research portion to find new ways to keep people safe, which would also rock! I'm so excited about everything getting this job would mean and I can't wait to find out what their decision will be. I'll be receiving a call sometime in the next couple weeks where I will be interviewed by one of the members of the selection board, and that will complete my package, so I'll let everyone know how that goes when it happens. Then it's really just a waiting game until they call me to let me know they picked me! =) I should find out by Christmas if I got it or not, so stay tuned!!

I might have a problem...

So it has come to my attention that I am HIGHLY competitive. I have always known this, but I think it may have gotten worse. So yesterday was a wing-wide "Resiliency Day" to draw attention to the fact that Airmen are committing suicide and we need to be better wingmen and women and watch out for our coworkers and such. They opt to do one of these shin-digs about once a year, usually around the holidays because that's when suicide rates go up. I just wish they would give us the day off rather than make me sit around and play touchy-feely with my coworkers, but I get no say. Anyway, it always starts with group activities in your unit before there's a big briefing from the Wing Commander later in the day, and it's up to each individual unit to determine the activities they will do, provided they foster teamwork and opening up and shit. Our unit had a delicious breakfast potluck, then some talking and getting to know each other better I guess, then the competition comes in. We had to split into groups and work together to design an apparatus that would protect an egg in a one story fall. Unfortunately we couldn't go any higher than that, because everyone's device protected the egg, and it wasn't a true testament to who's design was superior. I decided our team was going to model our design after the one NASA used for the Mars Spirit Rover, like this:

BTW we only had access to Dixie cups, newspaper, balloons, cotton balls, and plastic bags. And straws I think, but those were irrelevant. So my plan was to surround the egg in some cushion, then surround the entire thing in balloons like the rover. It was brilliant, and it worked wonderfully, but like I said, everyone's did. Suffice it to say however, I was obnoxious in the design/creation process. I mean, people were laughing so one can assume I was reasonably entertaining, but I think I might have gotten carried away after awhile. I constantly accused others of stealing our design (which they were), I tried to take all the balloons (even though I eventually conceded and let other teams have some), I talked trash, it was a lot. And the prize was some friggin Justin Bieber tattoos! I didn't give a damn about the prize! I seriously only cared about winning for the glory of it all. I don't know why I get this way whenever a competition comes about. It might have something to do with having 3 siblings, or it might just be the Hansen way, not really sure. In the end, everyone had fun and I don't think I ruined anyone's day unless they just weren't saying anything, but I do think I need to tone it down a notch when it comes to competitions. I also maintain that our design truly WAS the best because it fell the slowest, but everyone was a "winner" which only infuriated me more. I guess it is my way of having fun, but I also don't want to ruin anyone else's fun. Does anyone else get like this? I can't be the only one!

Pets

Now as you all know, I don't yet have human children. I do have two furry "children" however. The way I see it, like human children, pets can't help it that we chose to bring them in to our lives. They're just here on this earth, shaped by the hand they're dealt. Therefore, if you decide to take on the responsibility of pet ownership, you need to look at for what it really is: an adoption. That pet is now your kid and you owe it to that creature to give it the best life you possibly can. It's not like they ask for much: food, water, safety, potty breaks, stimulation, and love. The same basic needs you would give to your baby.

Obviously, there are good and bad parents out there. Some people are just shitty. What really pisses me off is when people are good pet owners until they have human spawn. Then the cat or the dog gets brushed aside or even gotten rid of to make room for the baby. You wouldn't get rid of your first born just because you had another, would you? I see posts online all the time for, "free cat or dog to a good home, the only reason we're giving him/her up is because we just had a new baby and we don't have time anymore." This infuriates me. Maybe the pet goes to a good home, but did it deserve that? No. Even when you ignore your dog because you're busy with other shit or something, they still greet you at the door every damn day with the same breathless enthusiasm and unconditional love that you just can't find in humans because we're not capable of that, in my opinion. Cats are slightly different, of course, but they still grow fond of their owners and come to appreciate their family and their settings and they love us too, just not as outwardly as dogs. Cats are gotten rid of the most because people tend to view them as pieces of furniture or something. Like they have no feelings one way or another where they live.

Another reason people get rid of their pets (especially in the military) is due to a move, or as we call it, a PCS. They just don't feel like going through the effort of getting the shots and forms and paying the extra fees to bring the pet with them, so they ditch 'em and forget about it. It makes me sick all the times I see this posted around here. I want to call each one individually and bitch them out, but it wouldn't do any good, they're still gonna be shitty people.

All I'm trying to say is that we chose to take on the responsibility of pet ownership, so everyone needs to see that out through the end, through thick and thin, no matter what. Give a dog a home and he gives you his whole heart and soul. When I look in to Zeke's eyes, I see nothing but pure love and affection reflected back at me. I could never leave him behind. The year that I had to live without him while I was in training was the worst year of my life, just as it was for single mothers that were without their children. People act like I'm crazy for loving my pets and all animals as much as I do, but I see no other way because that's how I was raised. Thankfully I married a man who thinks along the same lines. He may not love ALL animals like I do, but our pets are our children, and we both love them unconditionally, and are committed to them for their entire lives. When we have human children one day, we'll incorporate our pets and our babies into each others' lives, like you would do with siblings. No one will get left behind or forgotten about. I just wish everyone would feel the same.

Rome!

Well I clearly haven't posted in awhile, I just haven't felt like I've had anything post-worthy going on. Just day-to-day activities really. Taylor and I finally went to Rome, and it was one awesome trip! We flew RyanAir, which is a nice cheap way to fly, but can be very aggravating based on how Europeans travel. There are no assigned seats, so it's always first-come, first-serve seating, which to Europeans means, "line up in a huge cluster-fuck an hour before boarding and breathe your hot, stinky breath right down someone's neck." Since they have no personal space, they get right up on you, and it's just terrible and stinky. This time, we decided not to participate in the annoying cluster-fuck, because you still get a seat on the plane anyway, and it doesn't matter if we sit next to each other for the short flight. We chose to sit and wait off to the side until almost everyone was done boarding, then we got up, walked through the gate with no time spent in line, and still got 2 seats across the aisle from each other. Not bad at all. We have definitely figured out the American way to survive RyanAir. Now, on to the actual trip!

Day 1: Ancient Rome

Taylor and I in front of the Colosseum

Some of the Forum

  We landed at about 8:30 AM, so our first day started as soon as we got off the plane. We found a shuttle bus that would take us in to downtown Rome for less than 4 Euro, which was an awesome deal, so we booked return trip tickets on that too. Once we got in to the downtown area, at the main train station, we busted out our map and started walking (after a brief sit at a cafe where I tried to eat the worst sandwich of my life). We started out in the wrong direction but after we got our bearing we figured it out. Priority 1 was getting sunscreen along the way being that Taylor has ginger blood and I enjoy not having skin cancer. We looked at the train station, but they were literally selling small bottles for 20 Euro, FUCK THAT! We stopped at every little market along our route until we finally found one with sunscreen for less than 4 Euro, so huge win there. After we procured the necessities that we couldn't bring on the plane, we head to the Roman Forum and the Colosseum. We bought our combo tickets for the Forum, Palatine Hill, and the Colosseum at the Forum, and we were glad we did because the line at the Colosseum is ridonculous, so anyone going to Rome take heed. Walking around the Forum is neat, it's obviously all in ruins but it's so cool to think about who used to walk those same streets. From there, you can head right up to Palatine Hill, then down to the Colosseum last. We were in awe of the size of the Colosseum, thinking how difficult it must have been to build this when they did. We also learned that the Colosseum looks the way it does today because it was basically ransacked for valuable materials such as bronze and whatnot, so there are huge holes in many of the columns. Also there was a fire which burned the floor so that's why you can see the labyrinth underneath. Many of you probably already know these facts, I just want to be semi-informative in here, so I'm including fun facts! By this time, we had been wandering around for several hours with our heavy packs on our backs since we couldn't check in to the hotel until later in the afternoon, so we were ready for a long break and some gelato! We got roped in to one of the restaurants right next to the Colosseum, which was a huge tourist trap and ridiculously over-priced, so don't do that. Whenever the servers are standing outside trying to talk you in to their establishment, it's going to be over-priced. Walk a little away from the huge attractions and you'll enjoy better food for a fraction of the cost. Just as a reference, we had 2 beers and split a large gelato sundae thing, and we paid about 40 Euros, so seriously avoid that crap. After we had our break, we grabbed a cab to take us to our hotel hoping they would check us in a little early. We got there just after 2 PM and they did thankfully, so then we just relaxed in our super air conditioned room and took a nap since we were up at about 2 AM for the early flight out. Our hotel offered a cheap shuttle in to the city, so we reserved our seats on that for about 7 PM to head out for dinner. It felt great to relax, shower, then get pretty for our first night out in Rome. The shuttle dropped us off right outside the walls of the Vatican city, so we searched online for some restaurants in that area before heading out. We found one with good prices that got great reviews and headed there. Everywhere in Rome is pretty easy to walk to if you're not 90 and wearing decent shoes, so you can save money on cabs if you're willing to put in some miles. Our hotel was a little outside the city which is why they offered the shuttle, but once you're downtown, that's when you can walk just about anywhere. Our first dinner was delicious, the service was fabulous, and we had a great time. Before heading home we stopped at this gelato shop right near the walls of the Vatican that became my favorite gelato shop of the trip. I think we stopped there about 4 times, and a couple other random ones along the way. I lost count of the number of times we had gelato, but I think it was in the neighborhood of 7 or 8 times in 3 days =). The return shuttle that night was already fully booked before we even checked in so we had to take another cab back, but we booked our shuttles for the next day in advance so we knew we would be getting back cheaper the next night. After a long day it was wonderful to go back to the hotel and crash hard.

Entrance to the Vatican Museum

Day 2: Christian Rome
We headed back out at 9 AM on day two to see the Vatican museums and St. Peter's Basilica and all that. I read in the guide book that to get in to these places your shoulders and knees must be covered, but unfortunately I read that on the plane, after I had already packed nothing but tank-tops, tube-tops, shorts and short dresses, so I knew I was going to have to buy some cover-ups. There are scarf vendors ALL around this place for people just like me, so it wasn't a catastrophe, and I got 2 scarves for only 7 Euro, not bad! We were going to do the Vatican by ourselves, but the line was seriously about a mile long, and there are people offering English-speaking tours all over the place. We took the bait from a very nice lady who sold us on her tour company which would take us through a guided tour of the Vatican museums (including the Sistine Chapel) and then only with a tour guide could we take a short-cut to the front of St. Peter's Basilica. In my opinion, it's worth it to go with a tour (while we were waiting for the tour to begin is when I witnessed the brutal Seagull vs. Pigeon massacre). They gave us a student rate, which was 40 Euro each, we didn't have to wait in line, we received info on all the hits of the museum, and we didn't have to go out and walk all the way around the outside of the city to get back in to the Basilica. If you are already well-versed on Vatican knowledge and comfortable going it alone you can save yourself the money, but I enjoyed the tour. Inside the Vatican City was chaotic. We went on a Monday which is apparently the busiest day, but it's also the busy season so it's supposedly packed like that every day. It was kind of hard to stand and enjoy some of the pieces because there are so many people in there you are literally just pushed along like you're caught in a tide. We still were able to see most everything and our guide was very knowledgeable on everything. The Sistine Chapel is obviously the main highlight of the museum, so everyone wants to end up there. Inside the chapel is where you need to have your knees and shoulders covered, and you can't take any pictures or even talk. There are guards in there that shush people constantly and they get up on your shit if you're speaking above a whisper. It was definitely a sight to see, but since there were so many people, once again we just got pushed along with the flow until we made it to the back where we could stand and appreciate it for a minute. Our tour group was equipped with little radio receiver thingies where the guide spoke in to her microphone and we each had a receiver and an earpiece so we could hear her anywhere. She was able to speak softly enough so that she could tell us about the chapel while we were inside. After we were in the chapel for about 10-15 minutes, we headed out the exclusive tour group-only exit and headed to the Basilica. Our guide dropped us off right out front of the main doors and our guided tour was over. Next we headed in to St. Peter's Basilica (where once again, shoulders and knees must remain covered) and used our guide book to give ourselves a tour. The sheer size of this church is just unimaginable until you're standing right in it. I just can't understand how they were able to build this kind of stuff without modern technology! It's crazy! It was huge and ornate and very beautiful, and much less crowded than inside the museum so we were comfortable going at our own pace and checking out all the cool shit inside. Afterwards we head out in to the piazza (the square out front) and looked at that for a bit. At the top of the stairs was this tiny old man, in his late 80's or early 90's, with his little roller walker and his bag of stuff (who knows what he was carrying) and he appeared to be all alone so he clearly needed help down the stairs. There was another family that helped carry his walker, and a man and I held his arms and walked him down the stairs. He was Italian and had a thick accent, but he was asking me if I was Italian or American, Catholic or not, then he was just going on about the church and Catholicism, and popes and all kinds of stuff but I couldn't make out everything he was trying to tell me. He was sweet though and once he was down he just went on his merry way around the square. At the end of this part we were trying to head back to the shuttle drop-off spot to catch our afternoon shuttle back for a little siesta, but we got turned around a bit and didn't make it in time for the 1:20 pick-up. Then we just grabbed some lunch in the area and waited for the 2:20 shuttle hoping it wouldn't be full so we could head back then. Thankfully, it wasn't full so we headed back to the hotel for some pool time and chillaxing. Our next shuttle out was at 7 PM again, and we weren't coming back until 10:20 PM so we had some time to wander. We mapped out the area we wanted to see so once we got off the shuttle we walked about a mile down the road to the Piazza del Popolo which was neat. There were some cool statues of Triton and sea creatures, and it wasn't busy at this point in the day.

Triton and sea creatures and shit

We ate dinner at a small little place down an alley where I had some AMAZING risotto. We were next to a table of some more Americans so it was nice to chat with random nice people. After dinner we walked back, had more gelato of course, and headed back to the hotel for the night.

Day 3: Cool Shit and Lots of Walking

The Pantheon

 On our last day we wanted to see all the other cool shit we hadn't seen yet, like the Pantheon and the Trevi Fountain and whatnot. First, we spent the morning sleeping in a little, relaxing by the pool, and working on my tan. We didn't head out until 2 PM, and our shuttle home wasn't until 9:20PM, so we knew we had several hours to get it all in. Once we got downtown, we just started walking. We walked past the Castle Sant' Angelo, which we saw briefly after the Vatican, and that was cool but we didn't try to go in. Directly after was Piazza Cavour, then we headed across the river towards the Pantheon. My directional skills were on-point this day, and we were able to just wander and see basically everything in this area. We walked through a big piazza where there were tons of artists selling paintings and stuff, then we saw a couple neat obelisks, then we had more gelato, then we found the Pantheon. I knew this thing was going to be cool, but I was seriously surprised by how cool it was. Once again, the sheer size just blows you away. Inside the Pantheon makes you feel like an ant. After that we headed towards Trevi Fountain. I didn't know much about the fountain, just that the guidebook said it was worth seeing, and it was. It was waaaay bigger than I expected, but it was so gorgeous! It was built right in to the side of a building, and it was built to mark the terminal site of the aqueducts built in 19BC. The fountain wasn't actually built until 1762 AD, so it's fairly recent, but still friggin impressive.

The fuckin Trevi Fountain! Yeah!!

 After the fountain we walked to the Capitol building, also awesome, and then just strolled down the street looking at some more ruins. This pretty much brought us around to the Forum and Colosseum again, which we had already seen, so after a little rest in a park we started walking back towards the Vatican. We basically just walked up along the river the whole way so it was neat to see the sites right along the river. It wasn't a long walk, maybe only a couple miles, but after a long day in the heat I was tired by the end of it. We grabbed an early dinner and a few beers and of course more gelato, then we ended up catching a shuttle one hour earlier since we were beat. Once back at the hotel we just packed up since we were leaving early in the morning, and that was it for our little trip! I felt very satisfied at all the sites we got to see in the short time we were there, and it didn't even feel rushed. I still had plenty of time to relax and swim in the hotel's awesome pool.

A couple little side notes:
1.) NEVER attempt to drive here. DO NOT rent a car or drive there yourself. Drivers in Italy are absolutely ape-shit, and there are basically no rules to the road. Lane lines don't exist and don't matter if they do, stop lights are suggestions, and speed limits are meant to be broken. I'm shocked there aren't more accidents, but I think it's because all the drivers here are used to this style of driving and can handle it. Americans should not attempt it being that we adhere to the rules of the road and don't appreciate being cut off constantly. I got used to trusting our drivers since they seemed to know what to do, but if I were attempting to drive there I would have had multiple heart attacks. Our cab ride to the train station on the morning we were leaving was the most intense car ride of my life, no joke.
B.) Pack a knee-length skirt or pants and a shirt with some sort of sleeve for the Vatican and other churches. The scarves aren't expensive, but its a pain in the ass to keep adjusting them to make sure you're covered.
III.) Eat as much gelato as you possibly can! Seriously, it's fucking delicious. Even better than other gelato I've had in Europe. Also, just eat food as much as you can. Authentic Italian food is the bomb.

That's about it! As soon as we landed in Germany I missed Rome, being that it was barely 50 degrees when I got off the plane and rainy. So much for my tan! I just put a few pictures in here. For all the other pics from our trip, check out Taylor's album on Facebook.